Fumblings

words... the only tool to express what is within
and to reveal what goes on in me.
my expressions don't show it,
they're mostly lies,
a facade and mask i wear
to keep my emotions inside.
but words, i can't hide them,
they have to come out,
i've tried to keep them inside,
keep them in my thoughts,
but they've festered and swelled,
and without my will,
they've come out.

so now my words i put them down,
i may not say them,
it's too hard to form a sentence with my mouth,
with my fingers they seem to flow,
they seem to come out
form a coherence that my tongue could not form.
in this moment and at this time,
i have words struggling to break out of my thoughts.
i mix and bumble of things seen, done, and heard
nothing to do with each other,
so you can't understand what they are.

maybe it's my soul
telling me to keep what is inside
right where it is.
no one truly wants to know
and no one could really care,
so why bother them with my words.
these words, are my words,
i could scream them and they still could not be yours
i don't want them to be yours,
they belong to me,
i just want you to listen.